Thursday, April 29, 2010

Off His canvas..

We're on tour right now. We have a few bands touring with us, 2 of them in our bus to fit as many people in and of course, save money where we can..John Reuben is one of the artists with us. We love John. I especially love moments when I walk on the bus after a show to find John Reuben sharing the Gospel with one of my dogs. I think Sophie has completed the process with him, but our little Milla doesn't quite get it yet. He says he likes to be relational, and so he's taking it slow and building a good relationship while showing her God's love. And all of you thought that being in a Christian band couldn't be wild and crazy.

Yesterday we played at Anderson University in Anderson, IN. I like the town. Its close for home for Melissa and I, so our parents got to come and that's always special for us. Nothing like have proud, supportive parents sidestage. I think I love my parents and value them now more than I have at any other point in my life. I'm trying to convince them to move to Nashville before I have kids. But I think it may happen in the opposite order. =) We've played there before, and some of the other shows we've played lately are places we've played other tours, other years. I was thinking about how we can play a show at a venue we played a year or 2 before, but be in such a different place personally that the whole experience feels so different. Life is such a journey. I am glad I'm always changing, because I'm definitely not all done. Sometimes reflecting is so humbling when I realize struggles have been with me for years, or forever, then sometimes it's refreshing to see how far you've come in areas...and that maybe God's been painting our story even at times when we thought we took ourselves off of His canvas.

Speaking of Christian bands, I'm just going to say this because it's on my mind, and that's the point of this blogging thing eh?? I know we're all human. I get that we all have different perspectives, different backgrounds, our moral compass may be slightly different based on so many things, and judgement isn't the answer, because each one of is in need of grace. But I also do think there is such a thing as having some integrity, and setting our moral compass somewhere higher than any human around us, and I believe that we will answer to God someday for what we do with what He gives us. I think there is a place for accountability, and I see so many people not willing to question someone, maybe out of fear of what will be brought to light in their own life..I think maybe we are convinced that judgment isn't right and we confuse it with loving someone enough to ask how they're really doing, or to bring up an awkward topic.

I acknowledge that I am imperfect. That wasn't always the case. I think there was a time when I thought I could be good, do good things, and maybe that meant I was one of God's favorites or something messed up like that. I think I've found a healthy middle ground since. But I am frustrated when I see bands on the road, blatantly throwing a sinful lifestyle in God's face while leading crowds of people into worship. A Christian band of grown men who trash a bus that belongs to someone else because they get so drunk, while they have families at home, including kids that want to grow up and be just like Daddy someday. Sorry, that's not a struggle. That's a decision. A bad decision. And no one says anything.

Enough with my rant. I'm not one to hide what I'm feeling. haha. So we had a day off in St Louis today. We went to a Cardinals game. It was a beautiful day outside, other than the wind. I'd say it beat any wind I've experienced in Chicago. But we had a good time together, and for a few moments while we sat in someone else's seats(because we bought the worst ones there without realizing it, thank you ticket lady who sucks at your job), the sun was shining down on us, the stadium is beautiful, the field is so perfect it's almost freaky to look at...and I did feel proud and happy to be an American along with all the other people there. The brat wasn't all that great, but the fries were pretty darn yummy. We walked by the arch, of person it's huge and small all at the same time. (If you've been there, you might understand?)

We're on the bus and off to the next show. Excited to be on tour again! I know that we're lucky that we've even made it this far. Our industry isn't an easy place right now. Tours for the average bands are about half as many shows as one a few years ago would've been. In fact I remember begging Scott Huie for less shows, for a day or 2 off here and there, so my voice and mental state could have some rest. Oh we don't know what we've got til it's gone, do we?? But we still have fans and friends who show up, little towns and big cities...who say they've been changed by something we wrote or played or sang, and it keeps us going. And I feel lucky to have had the chance to be here the last 11 years with people I love and respect.

I have Jurassic Park 2 playing and I'm off to sleep soon, I think. It's a bit early for me to be thinking of sleep, but I'm trying to normalize my schedule a little bit this tour. (We'll see how that goes..) Yes, I can fall asleep to movies like Jurassic Park. Yes, it's one of my favorite series, and most of my friends hate my movie tastes. So long til next time--


  1. enjoy reading your honest thoughts dear...makes me smile.:)

  2. love reading your thoughts!

  3. I completely agree with you regarding your feelings toward Christian bands who are blatantly sinning. My husband & I just had this conversation the other day, because our friend Brandon (who has been playing bass with Seabird) has witnessed those actions in some of the bands they have toured with. It's sad to me that they desire to live & justify such a lifestyle that is not bringing glory to God. I'm so glad to know that you desire to display holiness as much as possible. Sorry, I'm writing my own blog post here (ha ha)! I also wanted to say that I'm enjoying Reinvention! :)