I wanna live in TVLand..or the movies.

Last night I had a date night with hubby. We are pretty good about having those every week or every other when we're together and can make it happen. We sometimes are only together 2 days a week average when I'm on tour, maybe less, so I think it makes us appreciate that time. And we've learned to 'schedule' each other in when we have days together, or the quality time won't be there..If anything good comes from being apart a lot, its that you don't get tired of each other and take time together for granted. I think it's actually been good for us for the for couple of years of married life! It's a good feeling to know that my husband still wants to pencil me in 2 years in. =)

Don't get me wrong. I know some of you out there are like my parents and grandparents and have been together more years than you've been apart, and I welcome advice on how you've done it and are still in love and still like each other. Sometimes I think the "like" might be more important than the "in love". My dad's advice always was to marry my best friend, and to marry someone I really like. Someone I enjoy being with, so that if the romance is gone or life gets tough or things throw you for a loop, you still have each other and being together, which is good.

Back to the date...we went for sushi with some of our favorite doubledaters, the Molnars. David and Tammy have their own photography business and they travel the world together doing what they love and are amazing at. They are such amazing, inspiring friends. Once at a Michael W. Smith show, he talked about how humbled he is to be surrounded by such driven, talented people and he said he attributed so much of his own success to being surrounded by them. I think Nick and I feel that way. The Molnar's definitely push us to live a better story. (Even loaned us the book I learned that one in). haha.

Miyako is our fav little sushi spot. Maybe not THE best sushi in town, but close and cheap and fast and sweet people who own it. Then Nick and I saw the new Robin Hood. Great movie. I love action flicks and mostly like guy flicks more than chick ones, so this was right up my alley. I grew up loving a Sunday afternoon of action movies or (shockingly) even John Wayne Westerns if it meant time with my Dad..(good memories can make you love the strangest things.) I still might be caught at home alone on a weekend watching Bonanza on TVLand or something of the sort. Yea....I know.

Interesting fun fact is that Superchick has a song called TVLANd..if you're a fan like I am you might be amused. It's a fun song. Here's a lyric for you..-"I wanna live in TVLand with Mr T and the A Team. My problems they could solve before the end of the show. In TVLand." - It gets better from there. Go take a listen.



Back to Robin Hood. I mean, Russell Crowe and this kind of action movie just work so well together! He is so good at being the guy on the white horse who will always pull through and rescue the damsel in distress. Good storyline. Not just the classic Robin Hood story, but some background and a nice love story mixed in. Leaving the theatre, I promptly told my hubs he could call me "milady" anytime he likes. I'm such a sucker for that stuff! Anyway, some movies are best to just wait and redbox or get on netflix(which I recently have and LOVE!)...but this is one that's worth the $10 ticket to see on a big screen. Grab the candy for $1 or less at the store on the way, and you have a fun night out! Yes, I just endorsed sneaking candy in. $5 for the same box of candy is just ridiculous.

I feel old saying that movie tickets are $10. Wow. Inflation.

Tonight was Lost night. The last episode is this Sunday and it's been such a fun thing to watch together with our friends we're all going to wait and watch together Monday night if we can convince someone to tivo it who has tivo. We usully do a potluck dinner or takeout or something, and veg out and enjoy. It's the simple things in life I love.

sidenote: Nick and I are writing for a solo worship album I'm putting out..really excited for this! I've wanted to do a worship album since I've been singing. (Most of my life) So for anyone who has begged me for years...it's coming. Patience. But it's coming. Stay tuned.

Go to --david@davidmolnar.com to see what Dave and Tammy do

Operation Beautiful

Tonight we played a h.s. in McAlister, PA. It was a perfect fall weather day out, and we woke up literally parked next to a soccer field and a nice track..I could sense Sophie's excitement when we had our potty walk this morning, and she was antsy all morning til Momma got ready and we went exploring. (Sophie's my dog. Not to be confused with my sister or something, and then that last statement would be really weird.)

Once in a while we hear of something that seems to really go along with our vision as a band, and recently we heard of this movement called Operation Beautiful. You can check it out more at OperationBeautiful.com- The mission of Operation Beautiful is to post anonymous notes in public places for other women to find. The point is that WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL. You are enough... just the way you are! It's so simple, but if you make someone smile or think differently about themselves today, than it's worth the little effort, right? We loved the idea, and wrote Caitlin, who started O.B. and told her about our band and that some of our songs are about self-esteem, eating disorders, dealing with body image stuff and we'd love to get involved!



So on our album Rock What You Got there's a song called So Beautiful that pretty much sums up O.B. so Caitlin has used it in some of the videos she posts on her site, and we want to partner with Caitlin and help get the word out. Such a fun, easy, silly little way you can brighten someone's day.



Tonight at our show, Melissa and I posed with the amazing crowd and told them all about O.B. and how they could bring it to their town and start making a difference one little post-it at a time. And earlier today we made some signs and posed out in the soccer field(and I think Sophie even wanted to be a part of it...)



So, if you start this and tell someone about it, it will have a ripple affect, and we'll be making girls feel beautiful all over the world. Check out the website, come up with your own creative way to spread the love if you're interested, and I'd love to see some of your ideas too! If you can, send me a copy to this email---beautyfrompain08@hotmail.com--definitely send them into O.B. and if you want, let them know you heard about them through us..=) Because we really are all beautiful, just like we are, but sometimes it's nice to hear.

p.s. I am wearing a tutu. It was made especially for me by the lovely Kim Mills and Jessica Ramsay. Thanks girls!!!

Sick and thoughtful in DC

Today we are parked just outside of Washington DC for a travel day off. That means that from Nashville to our next show was too far to drive in one night..so we stopped here for the driver to sleep, and then drive the rest tonight. We try to stop somewhere interesting on these days, and some of the band hadn't ever done the DC tourist thing, so they're off doing just that.

Last weekend I came down with some cold bug...started with a sore throat, turned to swollen glands and burning throat, then voice going hoarse and all the other symptoms that come with the usual, sinus infection. I'm actually amazed when I stay healthy, with all the travelling and not always getting solid night's sleep, different allergies every day, different germs...but staying healthy when you're the singer and the show somewhat depends on you is a big deal. I used to stress over it a lot. I remember being on a Newsboys tour where we hardly had a day off a week...a cold wrecked my voice and it didn't have time to heal, and I had to sing on it every night...until I almost had no voice left, and finally had to bail out on a show and take a couple days off. My voice was hoarse for quite a while, so I knew I'd done some damage. Not sure what was worse though....letting my band down or telling the Newsboys I had to miss a show. They were unamused and not what we call, sympathetic. I believe one of them said one night, "I think your voice sounds pretty cool actually"....haha.

It's interesting how my quiet times always teach me something. Voice rest can be hard for someone fairly social and who's love language is communication. I feel awful not communicating with people. I feel like a jerk if I don't sign autographs but doing that without talking just can't work. I end up trying to explain to everyone why I shouldnt talk and by doing that, yep...I talk too much. haha. When I'm trying to rest my voice I naturally listen more, and I'm reminded of how important that is. It's much harder to be a good listener than a good talker. And wiser.

So, trying to be responsible, I stayed behind today to rest instead of sightseeing with the rest of the tour..its mostly just me and my Sophie. She doesnt demand any talking out of me, unless she runs off and I have to yell at her to come back. Sometimes I think it's the best relationships we have that are comfortable with silence. I think its true with us and God too. When I stop giving Him my fix-it or to-do lists and just sit and listen for a while, prayer becomes something so far beyond Forgive me and Help me, God...it can become Speak to me. Quiet me. Guide me. Show me your plan for me right now. And I can't argue that those times in life have been some of my best. Why don't I stay quiet more?

It's been an interesting season in my life lately. Nick and I are coming up on our 2 year Anniversary this August. I feel like the best is yet to come. A family someday, some new projects that are in the works..very exciting things are ahead! I am still praying for so many people I know and love who have been in a season of struggle for what seems like too long. Hold on. Your dawn will come. Live today like it's your first and your last.

"Still here, staggering on, through the impossible. We remain. I can breathe, one more day...still here. Still fighting on. All we have is today. Find my way. To the beauty of one more day, still here." -Superchick

Off His canvas..

We're on tour right now. We have a few bands touring with us, 2 of them in our bus to fit as many people in and of course, save money where we can..John Reuben is one of the artists with us. We love John. I especially love moments when I walk on the bus after a show to find John Reuben sharing the Gospel with one of my dogs. I think Sophie has completed the process with him, but our little Milla doesn't quite get it yet. He says he likes to be relational, and so he's taking it slow and building a good relationship while showing her God's love. And all of you thought that being in a Christian band couldn't be wild and crazy.

Yesterday we played at Anderson University in Anderson, IN. I like the town. Its close for home for Melissa and I, so our parents got to come and that's always special for us. Nothing like have proud, supportive parents sidestage. I think I love my parents and value them now more than I have at any other point in my life. I'm trying to convince them to move to Nashville before I have kids. But I think it may happen in the opposite order. =) We've played there before, and some of the other shows we've played lately are places we've played other tours, other years. I was thinking about how we can play a show at a venue we played a year or 2 before, but be in such a different place personally that the whole experience feels so different. Life is such a journey. I am glad I'm always changing, because I'm definitely not all done. Sometimes reflecting is so humbling when I realize struggles have been with me for years, or forever, then sometimes it's refreshing to see how far you've come in areas...and that maybe God's been painting our story even at times when we thought we took ourselves off of His canvas.

Speaking of Christian bands, I'm just going to say this because it's on my mind, and that's the point of this blogging thing eh?? I know we're all human. I get that we all have different perspectives, different backgrounds, our moral compass may be slightly different based on so many things, and judgement isn't the answer, because each one of is in need of grace. But I also do think there is such a thing as having some integrity, and setting our moral compass somewhere higher than any human around us, and I believe that we will answer to God someday for what we do with what He gives us. I think there is a place for accountability, and I see so many people not willing to question someone, maybe out of fear of what will be brought to light in their own life..I think maybe we are convinced that judgment isn't right and we confuse it with loving someone enough to ask how they're really doing, or to bring up an awkward topic.

I acknowledge that I am imperfect. That wasn't always the case. I think there was a time when I thought I could be good, do good things, and maybe that meant I was one of God's favorites or something messed up like that. I think I've found a healthy middle ground since. But I am frustrated when I see bands on the road, blatantly throwing a sinful lifestyle in God's face while leading crowds of people into worship. A Christian band of grown men who trash a bus that belongs to someone else because they get so drunk, while they have families at home, including kids that want to grow up and be just like Daddy someday. Sorry, that's not a struggle. That's a decision. A bad decision. And no one says anything.

Enough with my rant. I'm not one to hide what I'm feeling. haha. So we had a day off in St Louis today. We went to a Cardinals game. It was a beautiful day outside, other than the wind. I'd say it beat any wind I've experienced in Chicago. But we had a good time together, and for a few moments while we sat in someone else's seats(because we bought the worst ones there without realizing it, thank you ticket lady who sucks at your job), the sun was shining down on us, the stadium is beautiful, the field is so perfect it's almost freaky to look at...and I did feel proud and happy to be an American along with all the other people there. The brat wasn't all that great, but the fries were pretty darn yummy. We walked by the arch, of course...in person it's huge and small all at the same time. (If you've been there, you might understand?)

We're on the bus and off to the next show. Excited to be on tour again! I know that we're lucky that we've even made it this far. Our industry isn't an easy place right now. Tours for the average bands are about half as many shows as one a few years ago would've been. In fact I remember begging Scott Huie for less shows, for a day or 2 off here and there, so my voice and mental state could have some rest. Oh we don't know what we've got til it's gone, do we?? But we still have fans and friends who show up, little towns and big cities...who say they've been changed by something we wrote or played or sang, and it keeps us going. And I feel lucky to have had the chance to be here the last 11 years with people I love and respect.

I have Jurassic Park 2 playing and I'm off to sleep soon, I think. It's a bit early for me to be thinking of sleep, but I'm trying to normalize my schedule a little bit this tour. (We'll see how that goes..) Yes, I can fall asleep to movies like Jurassic Park. Yes, it's one of my favorite series, and most of my friends hate my movie tastes. So long til next time--

Crazy eventually turns to Beautiful

So, I'm still new at this married thing, I would say. And I think I can safely say that Nick and I have had a "testing" time pretty much since our wedding day. Not so much between the 2 of us, but life all around us. It's felt a bit like the storm that hit nashville tonight. Life will seem good for a few days, hopeful, good things on the horizon, than BAM, hail, rain, crappy weather hits. Then a beautiful sunset and it calms and we start to think a sunny day has come, then BAM. Yea, you get the picture. Its been ups and downs for the last couple of years.


I'm talking deaths in the family, jobs lost unexpectedly, friendships lost or strained, plans that seemed certain put on hold, loved ones battling cancer, living tight financially month to month, then a good couple months, then back to living tight. You know those times when disappointment becomes such a normalcy that you don't even realize you've stopped putting hope in anything because disappointment becomes like a bruise that just keeps getting hit, and gets more and more painful each time....

We're there.. I must say we've become pretty resilient. We've become a team. We have been there together for the 2 am phone call that my Mom had a heart attack, and for the momstly silent drive to go see her. For the news that a diagnosis isn't what we'd hoped it might be, for the bill times when we try to make the money stretch further than it will. And through it all, I am so blessed to have him. We have seen God's faithfulness. We wouldn't ask to live this way, but we've learned to expect God to provide, maybe just in time, maybe just enough, but He provides still. I can lay beside my best friend every night, knowing we'll make it, together. Friendships can be torn away from us, nothing in life is for sure and this roller coaster is crazy fun some days and then others, I find myself wetting his shirt with my tears as we fall asleep hoping that the crazy turns to beautiful soon.


One of my best friends is a songwriter/worship leader out in Jacksonville, Florida. She has taught me so much of what it means to be strong yet to stay gentle, to be resilient but to be willing to admit when she is tired. I have seen them go through so many phases, some amazing, some struggles, and I have found so much respect for the way she handles it all. Some phases I have wondered how she still found the faith to stick it out, but she did, and she does. She is a picture to me of a faithful child. I know that God looks down at her and knows she is true, she is with Him through the thick and thin, and sees the beauty and the strength of character developing in her through these years of unknown, of struggle, of the narrow road she's taken.


So one of those things I'm learning is the fierce loyalty I feel for my husband. For how he is treated, respected, or not. I've heard stories of the Mama bear thing Mom's have for their kids, and I almost think there's something similar for a wife and her husband. I think I'd make him a pretty amazing Publicist. I'm pretty sure I'm his biggest fan, or maybe equal to how his Mom sees him. I can feel my claws coming out like Wolveriness about to defend the man who has won her heart and gone out to battle for her, but just been hit on all sides. Too much. I find myself saying that lately...."it just feels like too much." You know, I think we all expect tough times in life, and we sort of brace ourselves for when it comes. But I think we're in a permanent state of bracing. We're talking serious knots in these shoulders. haha.


In another light, I have seen a side of the man I married I might not have known was there for years. He is strong and graciously handles each situation head-on. He handles conflict so much better than I do, and is genuinely a good man even when put to the test. I picked a good one.

Life has its turns. Sometimes they're gentle turns, sometimes it feels like an old wooden rollercoaster's turns...the ones that give you that whiplash feeling and bang your head into the sides of your head brace meant to protect you. But the turns are all leading us somewhere..


And I feel like a pretty lucky girl to be going somewhere, with my best friend...

So much, so little time..

So much, so little time...and time's flying by us, it seems!!


Its mid-March, and I find that hard to believe! It is so true that the older I get, the faster time seems to fly. It's been the last 2 years now I've been doing makeup independently, and recently have had more time at home and have some fun shoots I've worked on.



Last week I did makeup/hair for some music videos for American Bang, 4 sweet Nashville guys signed to Reprise Records..it was 4 days of shooting different songs, and different locations every day! It was a lot of fun, great music, and I met some amazing, talented girls who worked with me on it.

Amanda Valentine is a stylist/designer who lives here...avalentine.etsy.com

Grace Stevens is a multi talented lady who is originally from London, and now lives here and she was running the show, all the details were going through her or decided by her. Amazing to see women handle authority and responsibility well, and to meet people I'd love to work with again!

American Bang is managed locally by Q Prime management, and everyone I met there was great to work with...

If you love Rock& Roll, make sure to look these guys up, the music was the kind you don't mind hearing over and over and....yea, you get my point, while they're shooting a song for hours.----


This past Thursday I did makeup/hair for a shoot with David Molnar photographing speakers and authors, Joel and Casey Johnson. What a fun day! The weather completely cooperated and the shots are going to be beautiful, I'm sure. They brought along their son, Lincoln, and while they were shooting, I got to hang out with one of the coolest kids I've met. Makeup/babysitting...it was a fun day!


Joel and Casey travel right now with Teen Mania speaking at their ATF events...they've just recently released their first book together, The Divine Matchmaker. They're a beautiful couple and just amazing people and have fast become good friends of ours.


Life on the road starting back up....


We(meaning Superchick) are leaving this Wednesday for tour rehearsal and the first Spring tour date..so that phase of my year is starting back up again! I'm excited and it's always a huge adjustment leaving my hubby and home and living out of a suitcase again, but it's always a good phase too. I always drag my feet going, and then I'm reminded that I love my band and miss them when we're home, and I love what I do and I'm so lucky to still be doing it, 11 years later..




I went red(my hair)this winter. Something I'd always wanted to try, so I did. It was fun, but I felt ready for blonde again, so I've been in the process of lightening again, and I'm almost there! I'm a bit more of a golden blonde than norm but that's better than frying my hair and having none. So, today and tomorrow I'm getting myself used to the idea of packing and leaving and remembering what it's like to live on a bus with 10(or sometimes more)guys..thank God for my sister!! I'll try to keep posting from the road, because there are always good stories to tell.

walking in the dark..

Every have one of those days? I mean, not just kind of one of those days, but full-on one of those days...

I'm not dramatizing little things that really aren't a big deal and just being an emotional girl. For the people closest to me, you know that the last, say year or 2 has consistently been disappointing for me and people I love.

Not to say that there isnt good. There is good. But the good, the people who love me and I love so much, the good moments, the great friends...it's all mixed in with a lot of letdowns, a lot of thinking something is moving in a good direction only to have the door shut, a lot of seeing people I love hurt and disappointed and feeling hopeless.

I'm not writing a woe is me blog. I'm writing what I'm actually feeling and thinking tonight. Tonight, enough little things hit me to just tip it. I'm a tired girl. I'm tired of getting excited when the good, the best case scenario just never quite seems to happen..

Sometimes when you share these kinds of thoughts with people, they can't actually handle it. They start to tell you how it all works out eventually. It will get better. God uses everything for our good. It will make me stronger. There's a reason for it all. They start to wonder if you're seriously depressed, if you should go talk to someone or its seasonal depression or whatever...

You've heard these "comforting words" before, havent you? Isnt it just ever okay to say how you feel, at the risk of sounding a bit hopeless or like a person who's faith might be put to the test at that moment? Well, it is, of course. Only the people who are like family, only the deepest friends, only people who really want to let you talk it out will listen and be okay hearing that kind of thing.

Sometimes I want to write songs about these days. But in songs, generally if its a sad song, you make it happy or hopeful by the end, by the bridge or last verse. But thats not always reality, is it? Some days you go to sleep still searching for answers. Still frustrated with the trite advice you're sometimes given, and still wondering how much you can take with your faith intact.

It doesnt always make sense. Life isn't always fair. God is sometimes distant in the long, dark nights when you so desperately want something to cling onto.

I'm tired of being in the waiting room outside of what I think my dreams are. I'm tired of just making it by. I'm tired of being hopeful to make other people think I'm okay. Tonight, I want to let myself be what I am inside. My heart is tired. I'm ready for God to show Himself in my life, in my family and friend's lives who have been waiting and praying for so long. Here's an honest thought for you. I'm tired of seeing people succeed and feel like I'm always cheering them on and acting happy but I'm actually thinking, why not me? I'm tired of seeing fake people who have really good social skills get ahead. haha. That one makes me laugh out loud. There's brutal honesty for you, and in the industry I'm in, I'm tired of seeing people use God to sound good and look good and who lead completely contradictory lives with the success it appears God gives them.

I'm not giving up. Its just a bad day. I don't always share these days, because its so tempting to put on the facade that I have it all together, that life is never a downer for tricia, to lead people to believe that I never get mad at God and His ways or what He allows me to go through...but I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be transparent with you. And with myself. And maybe that's the start of really healing in areas that feel really sore and bruised and burned.

In the midst of feeling all of this, I have a husband who loves me more than I have ever in my life thought someone could love me...seeing me for exactly who I am, best and worst. I have family and friends who encourage me, who see the best in me, who are my cheerleaders when I'm discouraged...there is good. There is love. Sometimes it feels like a scale, right? And some days one outweighs the other. Which side of your scale is weighing in heavier tonight? And are you willing to be honest with people when it's not the good "christian" answer?

Maybe tonight just being a tree in a story about a forest just isnt feeling like enough.

So, I just took my dogs out for a potty..I walked around the house and there's a spot where, at night, its completely dark and we have these stone steps in the grass to follow around to the backyard...I find myself every time, taking those steps I can't see, but I know that they're there, because I've walked it so many times in the sunlight. Some nights those steps just feel a bit harder to trust. But they're there. And I always find the right place for my next step, and then...there's the light and I can see again. Tonight I stood on the last step knowing that I was hearing from God during a potty walk. haha. Walking blindly might never feel easy. But we'll all make it. And if we step off the path just a bit, we'll still find our way..we might just be more cautious next time around.

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